I’m so glad it’s finally February. I don’t know I woke up this morning and I thought Thank the Lord January is done with! I’m not someone that suffers with “January blues” because I don’t celebrate Christmas and I don’t really partyyyyy-partaaayyyyy for New years so I don’t feel that much excitement in December to feel low in January, but this year was different.
I don’t really know but New years Eve I usually enjoy it I watch the fireworks and the countdown, and send everyone texts but the on the eve of 2014 I was just like whatever, same sh*t different date, and because I knew I was being a party pooper I just isolated myself. I didn’t watch the countdown and fireworks, I didn’t send anyone the customary “Happy new year” texts – I basically didn’t wish anyone a new year and anyone who wished me a happy new year was basically ignored-, and I just kind of was sitting on my bed like why is everyone partying about the date changing, and I think that effected the whole of January. Obviously, the 9th of January was like the deadline of all deadlines because final pieces of work for semester one was due, and then after that I still just wanted to be by myself, I didn’t want to celebrate my freedom from exams and essay deadlines, and anything could put me in a foul mood. I kind of just fell of the wagon of life but the wagon was still zooming round the track and pushing me further and further in to the ground each time. I stopped eating healthily and stopped going to the gym, and I just avoided any social interaction altogether, I just slept or just spent time in a room constantly, and I just wanted January to be over. I don’t know if I was in some sort of “depression” and I don’t really want to use that word to describe my state because I think it’s a word that’s thrown around a bit too much, and oversimplified. Maybe, I’ll call it a “rough patch” or “a short-term loss of perspective” I don’t know, you know what I mean though?
So, when I woke up this morning, and put on my gym gear and went to the gym I felt so productive, and I feel more positive like a I’m not being steam rolled by life into the ground but I’m actually back on the wagon holding onto the reigns. These last 31 days have been a drag but I’m back with full force, and I feel so energetic and ready to give it my all. So, here to a better late than never welcome to 2014.
Happy new year!